Becoming The Spider: A Wildling’s Guide to Networking

Picture yourself post graduation. You returned the U-Haul after unloading your things from your Oakland apartment and you have this shiny new degree BUT NO ONE KNOWS WHO YOU ARE.

danerys stormborn

You may have gotten straight C’s or a 4.0 but your knowledge of the labyrinthine politics of feudal systems and your mastery of how to compose the perfect Yak will get you nowhere if no employers know you exist.

You need to make connections with employers now so that you can feed and house yourself; after all, winter is coming.

This is where networking comes in.

Because most of us are close to entering the job market, I will jump right to the most important information.

  • Have a resume. Make sure to keep connected with the people you met through your experiences. Ask your boss if she is willing to be a reference for you.
  • Form a rough list of your network contacts. Keep them updated on what you are doing professionally. Expand your web by introducing yourself to guest speakers in lecture.
  • Talk to your on-campus career services. This is a great resource for finding alumni who share your interest in conquering the seven kingdoms.
  • Create a business card. Disperse to everyone you want to connect with.
  • Narrow your career goals. When people ask, have a clear message for what you are looking to do and how you plan to reach your goals.

If you find that you struggle with reaching out to complete strangers, begin by reconnecting with old friends or distant relatives to get more comfortable.

This may seem cliché but be confident in you.


A confident introduction will instill an employer’s confidence in you. If you still do not feel comfortable, “Fake it til’ you make it.” Amy Cuddy gives a great TED talk about how body language shapes who you are. Not only can you change how people perceive you, but by adopting confident body language you can also change your own psychology. Watch Here:

In her experiments, people were asked to adopt two poses. Those in “high power” poses felt more likely to win in a contest and their testosterone (a dominance hormone) increased from their baseline by 20%.

wonder woman

Those who adopted “low-power” poses were less likely to gamble and their testosterone levels decreased by 10%.

low power

Once you’ve mustered up the confidence to introduce yourself, what do you talk about? This may take some time to master. Good thing college is full of opportunities to practice small talk!

  • Find an anchor, a common point between you and the person you are speaking with.
  • Tell your new contact something about yourself related to the anchor. Nothing too personal but interesting enough that they can ask you questions in return.
  • Don’t be afraid to delve a little deeper. Look for your contact’s passion and get them to share it with you.
  • Look for how you can help your new contact. Though networking is to your benefit, there is no need to be selfish. Your willingness to help will show your contact that you are genuinely interested in them.

Making people feel important is essential for effective networking and nothing makes people feel better than hearing their own name. DO NOT FORGET IT!


Personally, I struggle with this part. Be it because of the millions of  things running through my head or face-blindness, I always ask someone for their name twice.

Here are some tips I found useful in solidifying face/name recall:

  • DO use their name immediately. Your short-term memory is leaky. By using new information as quickly as possible, you hustle it through to your long-term vaults.
  • DON’T get caught up in the routine of meeting people. Many people struggle with remembering names because of the “next in line” effect. We are so worried about saying the right thing that we forget to actually pay attention when others are speaking. Don’t let your brain go on autopilot!
  • DO make associations. Create alliterative phrases to make sure you remember your new contact’s name. The Lannister Lion is catchy and easy to picture.
  • DO make note of distinctive physical features. Try and be discreet, you don’t want to come across as creepy.

Now that you’ve incorporated this person into your web, keep them there!

It’s important to follow up with your new contact. Hand them your contact information (a business card works nicely here) and find a way to stay in touch. Keep up to date with their lives and  send them a birthday wish. Little acts will remind them that you care and it will keep them from forgetting you.

Best of Luck!

My little birds will have their eyes on you.

-Rachel Butch

varys wine




4 thoughts on “Becoming The Spider: A Wildling’s Guide to Networking

  1. Hey Rachel,

    This was a great blod post! It was incredibly informative and personal. I especially loved the GIFs and images you used. They were hilarious. I particularly liked the Sound of Music and Game of Thrones ones.

    I have found that “faking it till you make it” really does work. It was interesting when you said that just have a more confident stance can increase your confidence. This has always worked for me.

    Confidence is basically everything when it comes to networking. This blog post definitely emphasized that.

    –Myah Cummings


  2. Rachel,

    I think the importance of networking cannot be overstated. In today’s job world, it is really not what you know, but who you know. I really liked your advice about keeping your contract list updated on your professional endeavors. Since leaving my position at UPMC, I email my old boss every now and again to wish her well and let her know what is new in my life. I genuinely enjoyed working with her so the emails partially help to maintain the friendship, but the small gesture also serves as a professional strategy. My mom always told me that even if you hate your job, never burn a bridge because you don’t know where your next connection will come from.



  3. “We are so worried about saying the right thing that we forget to actually pay attention when others are speaking.” STORY. OF. MY. LIFE. I genuinely have gotten into the habit of asking people what their name is and then just straight-up NOT listening to the answer. It has become a problem.

    But this was a fun, informative post. Appropriate and funny gif use that was super audience-relevant. Networking is seriously the worst but also the most important, which has become a troubling dichotomy for me, but your tips were great. The importance of following up is also something that I found to be way more important than I ever thought, and it’s something that I really need to get better at. The inclusion of the information about body language added an interesting dimension, too.

    All in all, great, relevant post!


  4. Hey Rachel,

    I really enjoyed this post. Constantly I am wondering how I am going to make myself noticeable after graduation. It’s really a large fear of mine. But after reading this, I do feel a bit more confident in how I can make it happen.

    I also loved that you used the “Body Language” TED talk. I’ve seen it before, but I’m not sure how many people actually realize that this is an actual issue. You really do have to “put yourself out there.” And just in a friendly sort of, “I’m here.”

    Thank you so much for your words of advice.



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